I can't believe it, but the university plaza where Mel's Diner caught fire last night. And almost everything is gone.

http://news.therecord.com/news/article/700674.

I had so many good memories at Mel's Diner.

I was originally going to title this post, "The End," but in a lot of ways, it's not the end.

Sure, it's the end of my undergrad career as I know it, but it is the beginning of so much more. For lack of a better term, "the rest of my life."

It's been a bit of a strange last year in Waterloo. In fact my last couple years of undergrad have probably been my most challenging and my most rewarding.

It's all good, and I'm extremely thankful for the time that I've had.

I think, I have few regrets about my undergraduate career.

If there was anything I might have done differently, it would be to be more adventurous in looking for co-op jobs. I would have maybe gotten out of Toronto sooner, but mainly, would have avoided comfortable software jobs earlier on.

That and I would have joined UWCCF in my first year rather than my second.

But having said that, I still have few regrets, if any at all.

It's my last night in Waterloo as an undergrad. And I'm actually sleepy. The house is quiet since I'm the only one left. Everything is pretty uneventful, but I almost prefer it this way. I was never one for crazy partying. Catching up quietly with friends is what I value more.

I've met so many people here in Waterloo. It's been awesome.

It's definitely not the last time I'll be in Waterloo. But, you know what I mean, right? Don't worry, when you reach your last night of 4B, maybe you'll feel the same way.

Recently I have been having a sort of mini musical renaissance. Well, I suppose the music I've been listening to isn't all that old. But by listening to music circa 1999, this music is over 10 years old, which is nearly half of my current lifetime.

In particular, I've been listening the old band Audio Adrenaline again. I own three of their albums, Underdog, Lift and Worldwide, and have the first two in the form of digital audio on my computer.

I started listening to this band in elementary school, and it's perhaps the band that drove some of my music tastes today - primarily alternative rock.

Listening to them 10 years later, I find that I actually do appreciate their music quite a bit still; perhaps even more than before. As far as alternative rock music with Christian lyrics go, I feel they're probably one of the groups that have been more deliberate with their lyrics. Groups like Relient K do have some good lyrics, but they're often more coded, or sometimes just irrelevant all together. Audio Adrenaline's lyrics are often either very prayerful or worshipful. And they're simple. Sometimes when worshiping God, it is just so good to speak out words of praise. It doesn't have to be fancy because it's the heart that worships God.

One of their later songs, Lift does this.

Count them, every one
All of the million things you've done
You are the lord of my life
And I roll them over and over
In my head, in my head
But I don't understand
But I'm glad you're in my life

And I lift you up so high
I forget about the world I'm living in
Lay it at your feet
I'm giving in
My joy inside
I cannot hide
I love to lift you up

Lord I love you
You're a father's hand at night
You're the sunshine in the day
And I long to be with you
All my days
In old age if I'm still hanging around
I'll be found around with you

And I lift you up so high
I love to lift you up

I'm turning 23 years old tomorrow. Yet today was an amazing day already.

Between sushi, ice cream cake (with my favourite kind of ice cream), cookies and vanilla-chocolate-banana-cranberry cupcakes with green gummy bears packaged in a special box, and most importantly, friends, I feel blessed.

I'm not so good with words... so I was rather speechless throughout the entire day.

Thanks to everyone for making the day before my birthday extra special.

There is a worship song by Hillsongs called Rest in You. It is one of their songs that I like a lot, since I feel that it holds a simple truth that is a very useful truth to remember.

The lyrics are short:

Your faithfulness endures always
Where mountains fall and reason fails
And You calm the raging seas
And You calm the storms in me, again

All I know is I find rest in You
All I know is I find rest in You

My heart will praise throughout the night
Where singing seems a sacrifice
Your grace is all I need
Your grace is all I need

This song serves as a reminder to me what I should be doing when things aren't going so well. I know these past few months, I hadn't done these things so well. And a lot of times, I ended up writing up rather depressing blog entries. Part of me just wanted to get it out there, and I didn't really expect anyone to read it. But as it turns out, I later realized that I had a lot more people following my blog who could read 漢字 than I originally thought.

This served as a reminder to me to get back to perhaps what I should be doing.

The other day I was thinking about a lot of things, and when all my housemates stepped out of the house to work on their design projects, I figured, this is a time when I just need to worship. So I pulled out my guitar and worshiped and worshiped.

It was an amazing time to just be real before God. And it also brought to light to me that there are a lot of things in life that I still held before God. Things that I needed to give up to Him and release.

One thing that I've been coming to appreciate more and more is that personal worship and personal reading of the Word. Church gatherings are great, and fellowship events are awesome. But there's something different about being able to read, pray and worship in a small room with the door closed and with no one around you. All pretense is gone. In part, I believe this is why Jesus tells us to go into our rooms and close the door behind us when we pray.

There is a lot of expectation within the church to act a certain way or to participate in service in a certain way. During sharing night, Ken was sharing about how he was lenting musical worship. And how maybe people might look at him weird if he wasn't singing during a time of musical worship, opting to maybe read his Bible instead. And in a lot of ways, I really thought how wrong that is that there actually is an expectation of how we should worship God in the church. Worship is about the heart. So singing without the heart is not worship. You can be completely silent and be completely worshiping. In fact, is that not what Ecclesiastes suggests? "Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know what they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few."

This is why I realized how important personal worship is. Whether it be singing, sitting quietly, reading the Word, praying, interceding, etc. Doing all these things not only corporately, but personally is a really refreshing thing.

God is a God to be revered. And to worship Him out of an attitude of looking good or fitting in is fairly misconstrued. I know I'm sometimes guilty of this. Which is why personal worship and meditation on the Word is a good check for my heart.